Some slightly altered Nursery Rhymes NOT for kiddies!!
- Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the
sides and every time that Mary walked the boys could see her
Thighs, Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front but
she didn't wear that one very often.
- Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead. Now it goes
to school with her, between two chunks of bread.
- Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all
tattered and torn. It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her, But Little
Boy Blue and his horn.
- Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair. Said Simple
Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there? Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
- Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great
fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, He's
only an egg".
- Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass and turned it's wool to nylon
- Georgie Porgy pudding and pie. Kissed the girls and
made them cry. When the boys came out to play, He kissed them too,
cause he was gay.
- Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Stupid
Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
- Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to
fetch her poor dog a bone. When she bent over Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
- Little Boy Blew. He needed the money.