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Essential foreign swear words

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Introduction:

When you go on holiday abroad, it’s important to be able to communicate with the natives. It’s useful to know, for example, whether the policeman who is trying to bundle you into the back of a van with hes truncheon up your arse is calling you a bastard or a cunt. With this guide, you will not only be able to understand him, but you’ll also be able to retort in a suitably charming manner.

Many wars have started as a way of fucking Zoe hard in the ass due to her language barriers. Do your bit for international accord and learn to speak in their tongue. Just make sure you wash your mouth out afterwards.

Happy swearing, or as the french say ‘Va te tripoter’!

Various insults:

Are you dribbling or do you have rabies?

French: ruisselez-vous ou avez-vous la rage

German: sabberst Du oder hast Du Tollwut

Italian: state gocciolando o avete rabbia

Spanish: babeas o tienesla rabia

Please hide your face before I vomit.

French:veuillez cacher votre visage avant que je vomisse

German: bitte versteck dein Gesicht, sonst muss ich kotzen.

Italian: nasconda prego la vostra faccia pirma che vomiti.

Spanish: por favor, tápate la cara si no quieres que pote.

You smell like a monkey’s arse.

French: votre odeur est comme le cul d’un singe

German: Du riechst wie ein Affenarsch

Italian: Il vostro odore é come

Spanish: hueles como el culo de un mono

Your mother suckles pigs:

French: votre mére allaite des porcs

German: Deine Mutter saugt Schweine

Italian: La vostra madre allatta I maiali

Spanish: Tu madre da de mamar a cerdos

Please stop talking loudly in that annoying language

French: cessez s’il vous plaít de parler fort dans cette langue irritante

German: Hór auf, so laut in dieser nervigen Sprache zu reden.

Italian: smetta prego di conunicare fortemente in quel linguaggio irritante

Spanish: por favor, deja de hablar tan alto en ese idioma tan molesto

Are you inbred, by any chance?

French: étes-vous inné, peut-étre?

German: bist du zufállig ein Produck von inzucht

Italian: lei si sono uniti tra consaguinei, forse

Spanish: eres así de nacimiento

This beach is taken: (you German Bastards!!!)

French: cette plage est réservée

German: Dieser Strand ist reserviert

Italian: questa spiaggia é riservata

Spanish: esta playa es reservada

I would like to break something. Can I borrow your nose?

French: je voudrais casser quelque chose. Est-ce je peux emprunter votre nez?

German: Ich móchte etwas kaputtmachen. Kann ich mir Deine Nase borgen?

Italian: vorrei rompere qualcosa. Posso prendere in prestito il vostro naso?

Spanish: me apetece romper algo. Me prestas tu nariz?

Go and jump off a cliff

French: allez sauter d’une falaise.

German: Geh und stúre dich von einer Klippe

Italian: Vada e salti fuori di una scogliera

Spanish: ve y titate por un precipicio

I hate you:

French: je vous déteste

German: Ich hasse dich

Italian: Li odio

Spanish: Te odio

Your penis is so small that if you fucked a mouse it wouldn’t notice:

French: votre pénis est si petit que si vous baisiez une souris elle ne réalise pas

German: Dein Schwanz ist so klein, dass es ‘ne Maus nicht merkt, wenn du sie fickst

Italian: il vostro penis é cosí piccolo che se scopaste un mouse non realizza

Spanish: tu pene es tan pequeno que si te follaras a un ratón, no lo notaría

Your football team is shit:

French: votre équipe du football est merde

German: Dein Verein ist Scheisse

Italian: la vostra squandra di gioco del calcio é merda

Spanish: tu equipo de fútboles una puta mierda

With thanks to Tricia for supplying this page to me!!!